Tag Archives: Attitude

Gratitude

Thanksgiving has come and gone and we now find ourselves fully immersed in the lead-up to Christmas.  However, one of the things Thanksgiving turkeys are known for is their encore appearances as leftovers.  It is in this spirit of culinary sequels from the fridge that I would like to spend some post-Thanksgiving time thinking on being thankful.

Thankfulness or gratitude is an idea that often crosses our mind (to a greater or lesser degree) on a daily basis as we pray before each meal.  Other times we encounter it as part of Sunday worship.  Yet other times we are grateful when we are blessed in a particular way or when a specific crisis is averted.  Regardless of the context, we typically think about thankfulness and gratitude as a feeling.  We feel thankful.  With this heuristic in place, we judge our degree of thankfulness based on the feeling of being thankful and seek to produce that feeling when we think we ought to be thankful.  There is a difference, however, between feeling thankful and being thankful.

To feel thankful is a feeling and, by definition, is something that is temporary.  It is therefore impossible that we should feel thankful all of the time:  this feeling will come and go as it replaces and is replaced by other feelings woven throughout our lives such as happiness, sadness, anger, cheerfulness, and so on.  Our feeling thankful will also be affected by things such as how tired we are, where our attention is focused, and a whole host of other factors beyond the other feelings coming and going from our consciousness.  The sum of the matter is that our feeling of thankfulness ultimately comes up short as a means by which to evaluate whether we are living our lives with gratitude or not:  it is too vague and volatile a thing.  For example, we may become especially adept at producing this feeling of gratitude by our own efforts at the times we deem appropriate.  Yet, in spite of our feeling the right way at the right time, we may not possess the least bit of genuine gratitude.

This begs the question:  what is gratitude?  What is thankfulness?  From the above we can glean that it is not a feeling as we often suppose at first glance.  The feeling stems from something else and is an echo or footprint of that something else.  When we attempt to artificially produce this feeling, we are no closer to gratitude than an artist attempting to convey the idea of a cat by drawing only its tracks.  We may be very good at drawing paw prints, but that doesn’t mean we know what a cat is.  Nonetheless, we can learn some things about a cat by its footprints and the same holds true with gratitude.

Gratitude invariably shifts us out of the center of attention and instead focuses on something outside ourselves.  It goes against the grain of the self-made man or woman that is idolized by our culture and instead acknowledges the fact that, while we exercise agency and stewardship in our lives, we did not create ourselves.  From here, it is not difficult to see that gratitude is a very close relative of humility and has a large chunk of the same DNA.  As such, being thankful means that we are necessarily humble.  Being thankful, just like being humble, translates into action and how we live our lives.  It seeps into our attitudes and dispositions.

Rather than a feeling, gratitude is what we might call an attitude of the heart:  something that is near the core of our being and that affects everything which proceeds from our heart, be it word, thought, or deed.  It is not something that we turn on and off at will.  Of course, there are times when it closer to the forefront of our minds than others, but this does not affect its presence and influence in us.  As we grow in our relationship with God, gratitude becomes a stronger influence in our lives.  This is because we come to rely on God more fully and keep Him in mind in all we do.  Gratitude is a natural outcome of growing intimacy with God.  It proceeds from an increasingly God-centered view of the world and of ourselves.

Gratitude is a topic that is worth thinking on and digesting as we move into the Christmas season and Advent.  With reminders of Christ’s first coming so readily before our eyes and minds, it is a fitting time to consider our response to the love that God shows us.  Do we take it for granted or do we respond with thankfulness?

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On Having a Positive Attitude

When we are told to have a positive attitude, we often consider it either a wishy-washy platitude or an apathetic dismissal.  While it is true that such an admonition is used in both of these ways, I would like to submit that there is more substance in a positive attitude than what these common uses would indicate.  What is it that makes a positive attitude more than just a nice thought or saccharine shtick?

Firstly, our attitude colors our outlook on everything.  It is a psychological lens through which information passes as it is formed into our perceptions.  As such, it can sharpen or distort our perceptions, either allowing them to be more accurate or skewing them (sometimes drastically) away from reality.  Our attitude is the difference between taking a passing comment as a passing comment and taking it as an insult; the difference between having an open or closed mind.  It is also key to the phenomenon known as the “self-fulfilling prophecy”.  Our attitude affects how we treat people, which, in turn, affects how they treat us.

Second, our attitude makes a very real impact on the people around us.  As noted in the self-fulfilling prophecy example above, our attitude really is contagious.  It can be what helps someone else to, themselves, have a positive attitude which goes on to affect the people they come into contact with and who we may never see.  In this way, our attitude has a subtle effect on actions and interactions beyond our little sphere.  This wide-ranging influence is why the kind of attitude we have is a very important decision.

Third, in addition to having an effect on our perceptions and on others, our attitudes have an effect on our own lives and how we live them.  Paul touches on this idea in his letter to the Philippians:

“Not that I speak in regard to need, for I have learned in whatever state I am, to be content:  I know how to be abased, and I know how to abound.  Everywhere and in all things I have learned both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

-Philippians 4:11-13

Paul says that he is content no matter his circumstance.  This speaks to his attitude not as a passing feeling, but as a persistent disposition.  It is interesting to note the ideas Paul uses to convey his point.  He says that he has learned “how to” be abased, abound, etc.  This suggests that there is a better and worse way to undergo these things.  To bring this into better focus, consider the more mundane example of having a cold.  There seem to be two general categories into which people fall when dealing with this kind of disturbance.  One group accepts the cold for what it is and proceeds forward with life in anticipation that the annoyingly runny nose will eventually go away with the aid of proper care and rest.  The other group allows the discomfort and disturbance of the cold to take over their lives and dominate their attitude, inflicting undue strain and stress not only on themselves, but also on those around them.  Chances are that we’ve encountered both of these approaches to the problem of being sick.  In this case, it is clear that the first is a better way of addressing our cold and the second worse.  They do not change the fact that a cold is a bad thing to deal with.  Rather they speak to our disposition in a bad circumstance.  We can apply the same reasoning to a good circumstance; noting that we can have better and worse mindsets as we move through it.  This is the line of reasoning that Paul sets out as he addresses the Philippian Christians:  he has learned how to have a positive attitude in both good and bad circumstances.

As we unpack this further, we come to the foundation upon which Paul grounds his attitude.  He says that he can “do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”  Paul’s positive mindset is not based on his force of will when particular circumstances arise.  He’s not forcing himself to be happy or humble.  Instead, his mindset stems from a larger perspective in which circumstance forms a transient part.  This perspective is cultivated as we grow in our relationship with God and learn to live our lives with Him.  God, rather than being forgotten or relegated to a particular corner of our lives, is allowed to be a part of all that we say, think, and do.  We allow Him to provide comfort, to provide guidance, or to provide insight in the innumerable situations we find ourselves in.  Rather than being an escapist mentality, living our lives with God helps us to engage the people and situations around us in a healthy and constructive way.  Paul does not say that his positive attitude is based on ignoring his problems.  Instead, he says that he relies on Christ, who casts a light on the situation and helps him to proceed well.  Above all else, Paul (and we as Christians) has an unquenchable hope in the new life we have in Christ which surpasses anything that this world or Hell itself can throw at us.  It is this hope that strengthens us against the despair and cynicism inherent in having a bad attitude.

Although we often take having a positive attitude as a fluffy platitude anymore, I hope that the writing above has shown or at least helped you consider the idea that a positive attitude is something with substance that is worth taking the trouble to maintain.  It would be foolish to claim that it is easy to keep a positive attitude, especially when we are surrounded by a world bursting at the seams with negativity.  Nonetheless there is real value in this endeavor, for our attitude affects our perceptions and interactions with others as well as how we address ourselves to all manner of situations.  We make a difference in the world every day, whether we like it or not.  What kind of difference we make is very often the product of the attitude we have in life.